Why do I worry?

I'm sitting here looking over my posts in a blog I never have time for anymore, and I realized something. Almost a year ago to the day I published this post...http://sometimesmyheadhurts.blogspot.com/2008/04/single-is-not-disease.html ...Here I am still up, trying to get things done for my wedding that is in a little over a month, my jaw hurts because I have been clenching while I sleep (the stress of planning a wedding) with all the questions in my head about how things are going to get done, all the worry. I have to stop and see that I never imagined a year ago I would be here, marrying the most amazing man I have ever met. I know the Lord’s hand in this, it is His doing; and yet I'm stressed out about the details of that day when we are married. How simple are these things to the Lord...I relinquish my hold, it is not mine to worry about. It is the Lords, His to plan and it is in His care not mine. Done.

Why

Why is it that when I need you so much, words fail me and I am left Prayerless? Lord please fill my empty mouth.

All I Need

Let Your love cover me
I rest secure in the Shadow of your wings
And as I lay my head down
Speak your love over me


I want to dine at your table
Let you banner fly high over me
And as I lay my head down
Speak your love over me


I set my heart on you
You are all I need
I set my love on you
You are all I need
You are all I need

Beautiful Sacrifice

What can I give to you
Empty hands and the heart of a fool
This is a great exchange
I trade my filthy rags for garments white and new

Not that I ever deserved
What these hands of mine never could earn
But you bought it you paid the price
You saved me with you life
My Sacrifice

Beautiful sacrifice
Love laid down His life
To make a way for me
Beautiful sacrifice
Now I give my life
You made a way for me
And now I'm free

When I say, what I mean

Jesus
When I say "You're everything..."
I really mean everything, You're in every song I sing.

Jesus
When I say "You're the air I breathe..."
I just don't know what I would be if you ever left me.

Jesus
When I say that "I love you..."
That's what I want to do, but my heart is so untrue.

The Heartbreaker

I had written this post a while ago and never published it. I thought it was worth putting out there.....

I love my job, I love being a nanny. But the one thing that is so hard about my job is that eventually it ends. I find it impossible to do my job well and not really love the kids I nanny for. So it is when the time comes that I am no longer needed, whether it is that the kids have outgrown me or other circumstances, I find it a bit heartbreaking. I went to visit one of the families I used to work for tonight, and as long as it has been I still really love the family. The kids are growing and I can't help but wonder how long I will remain in their memory. particularly the youngest, who I spent the most time with. I love this girl, I spent years playing with her, going on adventures and just spending time with her. My question is this...is what I gave to her of lasting effect? Will she remember me when she grows? But then again does it matter? I don't do what I do for recognition. I do it because I think that kids are amazing. I love being a part of their lives and their learning even if I may not be part of their future.

Single is not a disease

So I'm 29, not saying I'm old, but old enough to consider the possibility that I may be single for a time to come if not the rest of my life. Now single would not be my first choice, however the idea does not send me into a debilitating coma (I've noticed it does this to most girls.) I find it frustrating though whenever I voice this possibility to others the response is immediately "Oh, I'm sure you are going to get married." As if the hope of getting married is all that will keep me going on this journey of life alone. As if I must have hope or I can't go on! For once I would like someone to say, "If so, that is OK." For someone to say that it is a noble calling to be single, and that you can be of more available use to the Kingdom of God single. Like the Apostle Paul said. Often I look at the people I'm close to who are married and let me tell you, my life is much simpler. And often times seeing them makes me a bit thankful for my singleness. Now each one of them would swear up and down the it is well worth the hassle to enjoy the wonders of marriage. And I don't doubt its wonderful, but my life's not so bad.